The Power of Belief

In the latest Fox News Poll Herman Cain has surged to the number one position, and he is even starting to edge in front of the GOP’s favorite son Mitt Romney in Iowa.  Now just a few weeks ago, this scenario would have been inconceivable to almost everyone…except maybe Herman.

There are many things that fascinate me about the Cain phenomena. He is frank, clear on his positions, firm in his refusal to take cheap shots at his opponents, and an electrifying speaker. He is fresh, non-political, and genuinely honest about areas in which he will need to develop his expertise.  As refreshing as all this is however, it is his “belief” in the possible that is most fascinating.

Herman Cain truly believes that he can be President of the United States of America! Even though the odds have been strongly stacked against him, he has remained steadfastly in the fight, winking wryly at all his detractors. He has a vision for this nation and truly believes that he can beat the odds and win!

Now some people may confuse this belief with ego.  Yes…I am sure Mr. Cain is an extremely confident person and requires little self-esteem counseling, but what we see in him is not the typical self-promoting narcissism of the average politician. To the contrary, it is a genuine, almost selfless, belief in America.

When I look at the other candidates I am overwhelmed with the impression that they feel that they “should” be President.  When I listen to Romney I hear a smoothly polished politician who sees the White House as his next achievement.  It is almost as if he is more focused on the office than the objective. To the contrary, when I look at Cain I see a certain innocent, yet determined, optimism that I have not seen since Ronald Reagan.  It is an optimism unblemished by years of political gamesmanship and compromise.  It is the look of someone who sees the Presidency as the means…not the ends.  He is not being driven by an office, but by a vision for America – and it is powerful.

Like Reagan, Cain believes in the boundless potential of our nation and its people, and this is what is driving him forward against the odds.  He is not bound by the limitations and labels that others have placed upon him, and the American people are taking notice by the millions.  Make no mistake, Herman Cain is not surging in the polls because he is perfect. He is rising is the polls because he truly believes in what “we the people” can do..not the government, and this belief is giving Americans a new type of hope – hope in themselves.

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Head Muscle Officially Endorses Herman Cain

Head Muscle Press Release (27 Sept 2011) – Head Muscle officially endorses Mr. Herman Cain as the next President of the United States.

Now given the size of our readership, I do not expect that this announcement will make Fox News – or even come to the attention of Mr. Cain for that matter, but we are pleased to make it nonetheless. Rest assured that Head Muscle does not take this endorsement lightly and has deliberated long and hard over it for several months…okay maybe we just decided to do it yesterday, but we are still firm in our conviction.  When it came down to it, the decision was pretty straight forward.

Just look at the facts:

1. Our official unemployment rate is hovering at 9.1 percent, but in reality it is much higher.  Some states and municipalities have unemployment numbers well above 10 percent. This does not even count the underemployed and those that have given up all together. Some have even speculated that we have lost an entire generation of workers due to the current shortage of jobs.

2. Business was already buckling under oppressive regulation and the current administration helped them out by passing Dodd-Frank.  No wonder our businesses are headed overseas by the truckload…

3. Obama Care is looming on the horizon.  It will cause businesses to dump their healthcare plans, force doctors to retire, close hospitals, and degrade healthcare services for over 80% of all Americans.  It will also cripple Medicare and kill research.  As Herman Cain pointed out, if he had been required to use Obama Care when he had cancer – he would be dead today.  Actually, given what Obama has done to our nation over the past three years, I would say that “Obama Care” is clearly an oxymoron.

4. Obama has presided over a five-fold increase in government spending.  Our national deficit is now running at about 1.4 trillion dollars and his answer is to give the crack head another dime bag….brilliant!  We actually elected a man who thinks that the solution for too much government spending is to spend more money.  Okay…we had a moment of collective stupidity in 2008; let’s not let it happen again.

5. Instead of harnessing the powerful free-market forces that made our nation great, Obama has decided to wage class warfare. Rather than lowering taxes (long term) and stepping out of the way to let business prosper, he is advocating about 1.5 trillion dollars in new permanent taxes!  I cannot even believe that he truly thinks that this will help. Just two years ago Obama himself noted that raising taxes during a recession would be a bad idea.  What gives?  This is simply a move to expand his voter base by fiscally enslaving our nation’s producers to its zero-liability takers.  The fact is, if he took every dollar from every wealthy person in the nation it would still not come close to covering the national deficit.  Why does everyone understand this but our President?

6. Our GDP is flat-lining. So after the first stimulus and a promise of thousands of “shovel ready” jobs, why are we not growing? The reason is simple…government does not grow the economy….BUSINESS DOES!  I would go into this in greater detail, but as my Harley buddies like to say, “if I have to explain it, you won’t get it.”

The bottom line here is that we need a leader. Someone who understands our free-market and can harness its awesome potential to pull our nation out of its fiscal tailspin. The reason that Head Muscle is supporting Herman Cain is that, out of all his opponents, he has stuck to his message, stayed out of petty politics, and shown us a better way.  We are proud of our decision to endorse Herman Cain for President, and hope all 12 of our readers understand our decision.

If you are interested in learning more about this man and his vision, please visit Herman Cain online.  Be sure to read about his 9-9-9 Vision for Economic Prosperity.  It is pretty simple. First toss out the current tax code that enslaves half of the American population. Once that is done, institute a 9% flat income tax, a 9% flat corporate tax, and a 9% national sales tax.  That is it!  As Mr. Cain loves to say:

If 10 percent is good enough for God, 9 percent should be good enough for the government…

Stand by for more on Herman Cain in the coming months.  Head Muscle will also be kicking of a unofficial Herman Cain blog alliance for all aspiring and active bloggers.  If you are interested please comment to this post with your site URL, and we will be in touch.

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Obama Takes Charge Of Gulf Oil Spill

Head Muscle Press (4 June 2010) – Just two days after reassuring America that the gulf oil spill was his top priority, President Barack Obama showed the world his resolve.  In a dramatic move designed to bring a speedy end to what could become the worst ecological crisis in our nation’s history, President Obama hosted a Paul McCartney concert in the White House East Room.  After the concert, Obama reaffirmed his concern for the people of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida by presenting Sir Paul McCartney with the Gershwin Award, America’s highest musical honor.  “Tonight was a fantastic opportunity for the President to show all Americans just how seriously he is taking this crisis in that…um…Mexican ocean area,” Janet Napolitano beamed to reporters after the concert. “Now, no one can question his priorities.”

Sources close to the administration confided to HM that President Obama had been feeling the heat for some time, and knew he had to act fast. “He called the entire staff into his office to brainstorm a solution,” our source recalled. “We put everything on the table; we even considered asking the Jonas Brothers to do an encore performance! Absolutely nothing was ruled out.” Our source went on to explain that Obama had even discussed holding a media event with the Houston Oilers, but eventually decided that it would just be too much too fast. Apparently, after hours of heated debate, the President finally put his foot down and insisted that a Paul McCartney concert was the only viable course of action.  On condition of strict anonymity (as usual) our White House source agreed to provide us further detail.  A transcript of the HM Exclusive interview follows:

HM: So, how exactly did having a Paul McCartney concert at the White House help stop the oil spill?

Source: Well the concert alone didn’t do anything, but it was an important first step.

HM: (curiously) A first step for what?

Source: (rolling eyes) Well reuniting the Beatles of course?  They are one of Obama’s favorite groups.  He really likes the short funny one – Dingo.

HM: (clearing throat) You mean Ringo…

Source: (waving hand) Hey, I ‘m not going to get into any political name calling here…this is a crisis.

HM: (confused)  So how in the world is reuniting The Beatles going stop the oil spill?

Source: Well it is a complex plan but, if Obama can get them all back together, he is hoping that they will take him down to the broken pipe in their yellow submarine.  If they can get him down there, he might be able to stop the spill.

HM: (in disbelief) Are you being serious?

Source: Most certainly. It is the only viable solution left.

HM: How would he stop the oil once he got down there in the…um…yellow submarine?

Source: It will be a process. First, he will have direct one-on-one talks with the spill. He will apologize for America’s role in the leak, and then try to reason with it.  He may even offer it a job if it will agree to stop running.

HM: What about just putting a cap on it?

Source: (smiling) Oh, believe me, he plans to cap a lot more than just this oil spill. Never let a good crisis go to waste you know!

HM: And he actually thinks he can do this?

Source: Well…it will be a team effort. He will need a little help from his friends…ha! Get it?

HM: (speaking slowly) The President does know that two of The Beatles are dead right?

Source: (shocked) Dear God! That means we have to activate Plan B!

HM: What is ‘Plan B?’

Source: (rubbing chin) Well it is still kind of sketchy, but Obama plans to nationalize Brittany Spears.

HM: Brittany Spears….what the heck can she do?

Source: Nothing – Obama just thinks she’s hot….It’s not really important anyway, in just a few days James Cameron will be taking charge of the entire operation.

HM: Interesting…what exactly is Cameron’s plan for stopping the oil?

Source: For starters he is going to have Celine Dion write a killer theme song for it. It will be Grammy stuff.

HM: And then?

Source: Well, he has not finalized the script yet, but it will likely involve Leonardo DiCaprio dangling Spongebob Squarepants over the slick from a helicopter gun ship.

HM: Spongebob?

Source: Yeah, he is an absorbent little fellow. It should be very dramatic.

HM: (in amazement) Does the President actually think that this will work?

Source: Not really, but it should get Cameron an Oscar nomination. He is still pretty down about Avatar, and needs a pick-me-up.

HM: (exhausted) You know, I hate to be rude here, but none of this makes any sense. These are all really wacky ideas.

Source: (rolling eyes) You anti-Obama people are always going to find fault with the President’s approach.  The fact is, in this moment of crisis, Obama is desperately trying to reach out and unify all Americans around one indisputable fact.

HM: Really?  What would that be?

Source: Brittany really is hot. I mean…you know…wow.

HM: (exasperated sigh) You must forgive me, but this is just nonsense.  None of these plans will do anything to stop the oil spill!

Source: Hey, don’t blame Obama.  If Bush had not killed the other two Beatles, we would already have their submarine!

HM: (shocked) Wait a minute….are you actually blaming Bush for…

Source: (interrupting) All I am saying is that someone should warn Dingo. He could be next…

HM: I’m sorry, this just does not….

[Source’s cell phone rings.]

Source: Excuse me a moment…..Hello?  Oh my God! That is terrible! Get the Admiral on the line…I am on my way.

Source: (Hanging up) I’m sorry, but I have to go deal with this crisis right away.

HM: The oil spill?

Source: No, Obama’s approval rating just dropped another 5 points! We have to do something fast!  Hey…you wouldn’t happen to have Lady Gaga’s cell number would you?

With that, our source scurried out of the room thumbing his Blackberry. One thing is for sure, if nothing else, President Obama is more than aware of what this crisis is doing to his approval ratings.  Perhaps this realization will generate more action and less song and dance from the White House. Regardless of the outcome however, it seems as if Obama will be submarining for the foreseeable future. <<DEVELOPING>>

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Obama Stuck In Press Conference

BREAKING NEWS – Head Muscle Press (26 March, 2010) Head Muscle has just learned that, even though the cameras have been turned off for almost 23 hours, President Obama is still at the podium in the White House Press Gallery speaking. Though the details are still sketchy, sources have told HM news that the President has been speaking continually since his press conference announcing the New START Treaty yesterday morning.  Rumor is that a teleprompter malfunction initially resulted in Obama’s comments being replayed over and over at an increasingly rapid rate.  As his speech regenerated and picked up speed President Obama continued reading apparently oblivious to the problem. “At one point the teleprompter was spinning so fast,” our source confided, ” the Commander in Chief sounded like an angry squirrel.” Attempts to turn off the power to the teleprompter backfired when one of the President’s staffers accidentally pulled the plug to Helen Thomas’ oxygen machine.  The power surge that resulted sent the teleprompter spinning out of control even faster. “It was really scary,” our source shuddered. “Helen’s face puffed up really large and turned dark blue.  She looked like a demonically possessed California Raisin.”

Folks at the scene noted that, after Obama’s 9th or 10th pass through the speech, most of the press corps caught on to what was happening and headed out for lattes. Correspondents from MSNBC stayed behind however, feverishly taking page after page of notes.   “I have never seen people write so fast,” our source mused.  “They were going through one mechanical pencil after another, dropping them all over the floor each time they stood to applaud Obama’s comments.  After a while, it looked like some crazy aerobics class full of over-dressed morons. It was really getting dangerous.”  In an effort to put an end to the crisis, Rahm Emanuel placed a call to the White House electricians to shut power down to the entire building, but unfortunately their new union contract had given them Thursday through Sunday off.

In an effort to get more detail on this unfolding story, HM was able to set up an on the scene interview with our source as he worked to resolve the situation.  Transcript follows:

HM: So, is the President still stuck in the teleprompter loop?

Source: I am afraid so.  It is really a difficult situation.’

HM: Why not just cut the power cord leading to the prompters?

Source: We thought about doing that, but the President’s physician believes that such an abrupt shut down could damage the President’s autonomic nervous system.

HM: How do they know this?

Source: Well, it wasn’t really publicized, but a few years ago we had a similar problem with another person.  He needed the teleprompter even more than Obama, and when we turned it off, it pretty much turned him into a vegetable.

HM: Wow, that is horrible! How is he now?

Source: He’s the Vice President…

HM: Oh, I see… so what is the plan for getting Obama unstuck?

Source: Well, the plan is to slowly bring him down before we break the connection.

HM: How will you do that?

Source: First, we network in a new computer with the speech on it, and then we switch the prompter signal over.  Once we have done that, we will gradually begin slowing the speed of the speech down until we get it to normal.

HM: And then?

Source: Well then we simply start eliminating paragraphs and sentences until we have him down to repeating just a few words over and over.  Something like, “me like Russia….me like Russia…me Russia…” Then we will slowly take him down to nothing but the letter “r.”  Once we have him comfortably r-ing for 10 or 15 minutes, we will stop the prompter and hopefully save most his higher mental functions.

HM: That sounds like a daring plan, what happens if it doesn’t work?

Source: Oh, we have a contingency plan for that as well.  If we cannot break him away from the prompter safely, our plan is just to keep him there.

HM: Excuse me?

Source: Well, it is really pretty ingenious.  You see, Obama has already held more interviews and press conferences in his first year than the last two administrations combined. Hell, you can hardly turn on your television without seeing him talking about…something.  So our plan is to just change his clothes,  feed him new speeches, and keep him going. When we need him, we will just turn the cameras on!  No one will be able to tell that it isn’t business a usual….it ingenious!

HM: What about Michelle and the kids?

Source: Oh they will be able to come in and see him on weekends. We will put some fatherly statements on the prompter like, “Hey girls let’s get a burger,” and “How’s the garden honey?”  We will do our best to make him lifelike.

HM: I see. Well it certainly is a daring plan.

Source: Yep, our only real concern is ensuring the Republicans do not hack into the system.

HM: Is that a threat?

Source: Well last week when health care passed, Biden was just supposed to hug Obama and say, “This is a big deal.”   We even put it on the prompter to ensure he did not mess it up.  After the speech, we looked at the computer and someone had spliced the F-bomb in!

HM: Wow, that is pretty devious. Who do you think did it?

Source: Well we are not sure, but we have heard rumors that Sarah Palin has build a huge satellite-based super computer network and is trying to control Obama’s teleprompters from space. We are thinking that she has been working out the kinks on Biden since the election.  I mean, it could be a real problem!

HM: What would she do?

Source: We could loose control of the President! What if she made him say something nice about insurance companies?  Maybe she would have him admit that the free market is the most powerful economic force on earth!  What if she just had him make animal noises?  It could be a real disaster!  We cannot let it happen.

HM: What about Helen Thomas – is she OK?

Source: Oh Helen? She’s fine, the Bush staffers used to pull her O2 all the time just for fun.  She’s a trooper... Well I have to get back into the press room, it is time for the President’s chap stick.  If I don’t apply it every fifteen minutes his mouth starts smoking.

At that moment our source put on a pair of asbestos gloves and headed back into the room accompanied by two firemen.   Though we are just getting a feel for the gravity of this situation, it is clearly touch-and-go for the President.  Regardless of the outcome however, it appears certain that Obama will be on television sometime today. <<Developing>>

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Four Doctors Support Health Care Bill

BREAKING NEWS  – Head Muscle Press (March 4, 2002) In a tightly choreographed media event yesterday, President Barack Obama announced to an eager crowd of supporters that his administration had located four doctors that agreed with his new health care bill.  Speaking with renewed determination, President Obama impugned the hastily assembled crowd to get the bill passed now.  “This is really an exciting moment for us,” one supporter confided.  “We have really been hoping that the medical community would step up to support this bill, and it looks like it has finally happened…I mean…well…at least four of them have.  We have also heard rumors that there is a pharmacist in Rapid City who likes the bill too, but no one has confirmed it yet.” In an attempt to dig a bit deeper,  HM Press caught up with one of Obama’s staffers after the media event. On condition of anonymity,  she agreed to speak with us.  Transcript follows:

HM: This seems to be a big event for the President.

Staffer: Absolutely! He is thrilled.

HM: So, these four doctors actually agree with Obama’s new plan?

Staffer: Yes, they think that this bill is the only way to save our health care system.

HM: But there are only four of them…

Staffer: Only four?  I would say that this is a pretty impressive showing.

HM: but..

Staffer: (breaking in) Let me finish.  We may only have four now, but we think that there are a lot more out there.  Maybe double that number!

HM: So you are saying that there may actually be eight doctors out there that agree with the new bill?

Staffer: Well we cannot say for sure, but some of our analysts think it is possible.  Look, the fact is, there is a silent super minority of doctors out there who are clearly leaning our way –  and we want to find them.

HM: What exactly is a silent super minority?

Staffer: Well we are not sure about that either, but we think it is an important demographic.

HM: How so?

Staffer: Think about it. We are changing one sixth of the US economy to support about seven percent of the population.  Given those numbers, finding four doctors that support this bill is huge!

HM: But polls still show that the vast majority of doctors are against the bill.

Staffer: Not anymore.  In our latest poll, one hundred percent of the doctors surveyed supported it.

HM: Wow, that is impressive who conducted the poll?

Staffer: We did of course!

HM: Oh really, what sample size did you use?

Staffer: That’s beside the point.

HM: No, I think it is important; how big was your sample?

Staffer: Well, quite a few…um…maybe about four I think.

HM: (shocked) So what you are saying is that you only polled the four doctors on stage.

Staffer: Well yes, but it was unanimous….pretty much.

HM: Pretty much?

Staffer: OK, initially one of the doctors was undecided, but Obama was able to change his mind.

HM: How? Did he offer the doctor some type of political position or favor in return for his support?

Staffer: Oh no, Obama will never make that mistake again.

HM: How did he do it then?

Staffer: Cash…I think.

HM: (changing subject)You must forgive my skepticism, but it just seems to me that having four doctors on board is nothing to get excited about.

Staffer: Well, I will admit the stage looked a bit sparse with just four doctors behind the President, but this is only the beginning. Let’s say that our analysis is correct and we can find another four out there somewhere. The ramifications would be huge!

HM: I am sorry, I don’t understand.

Staffer: (rolling eyes) Well a television screen is only so wide.

HM: (confused) Excuse me?

Staffer: (irritated)  OK, work with me here… just imagine if we had eight doctors on stage all bunched up real tight with Obama.   We could almost make the average American believe that our nation’s medical professionals were behind this bill, not just our liberal friends at the DFA and AMA.

HM: So, what you are really saying is that you want to dupe gullible Americans into thinking this bill is a good idea?

Staffer: Well, I would not use the term “dupe” …

HM: What term would you use?

Staffer: I dunno, “creatively manipulate” maybe?  I mean it really is for their own good.  Most Americans are incapable of understanding this bill anyway, and just need to let us pass it.  After all, we know what is good for them; we’re the government!

HM: I see.

Staffer: Well I am very sorry to cut this short, but I need to get back to work.  I only have an hour to get the white coats back to the costume shop…see ya!

At that point, our interview ended as our staffer dashed from the press room.  We are not sure where this all will lead, but one thing is clear.  We have witnessed political theater at its finest and, if successful, we will likely see many such stunts in the future.  Rumors are already circulating that Obama staffers have rented a half dozen polar bear suits for an upcoming climate change conference. <<DEVELOPING>>

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