Flashing Right

John McCain lost the 2008 election for three basic reasons.  He ran an incompetent campaign, the global banking market crashed on the Republican’s watch, and no one knew who the heck Barack Obama was. These three facts conspired to drive many center and center-left independents toward the Democrat nominee.  Obama’s call for hope and change was exactly what many war weary folks wanted to hear, and he rolled over the McCain camp like an Abrams tank on cruise control.  Put bluntly, it was ugly.

During his campaign, Obama used a lofty rhetoric that inspired even his most devout adversaries at times.  People voted for him in droves because he was different, an unknown quantity, and everyone was pretty much burned out with who they knew.

This anonymity was arguably Barack Obama’s greatest asset.  Folks did not know what his politics would end up being, but they liked him.  Sure he seemed a bit left, but all candidates campaign for their their core constituents and then move to the center once elected.  How bad could this guy be after all?  With that, our nation made a calculated hard left turn. The destination was a mystery, but everyone hoped for a smoother ride.

The bad news for Barack is that the anonymity that he had enjoyed in 2008, is no longer his ally.  Left leaning voters that put him in office are now looking back at the change that was promised, and wondering what happened. Unemployment is still 9.1% officially, but in reality it is much higher.  In fact, many US cities are still well over 10%. African-American voters, who pulled the lever for Obama 96% of the time, have actually seen modest increases in unemployment numbers since his election and are also starting to ponder their decision. Pacifists have also been let down.  Three years after his election, Guantanamo Bay is still open for business and the US is still involved in military operations in Afghanistan and Iraq.

As wide as the chasms are getting between factions on the left, they are even wider between Obama’s camp and the right.  Unlike the 2008 election where Obama was able to steal McCain’s platform and make it his own; in 2012 he has set himself apart as a hard core liberal in bed with environmentalists, big labor, and big government ideologues.

Three years after Obama’s election, we can look at Republican presidential hopefuls like (this blog’s favorite) Herman Cain, and see clear cut differences in vision and direction for our nation. We see a new focus on individual responsibility and liberty vice government nanny-ism. Republicans are offering new and innovative “free market” friendly solutions like Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 Plan for Prosperity, and the polls show folks are taking notice.

The 2012 presidential election is shaping up to be a potential landslide for conservative values.  Contrary to the opinion of many currently camping out on Wall Street, this is not because “greedy corporations” are controlling our minds with chemicals in our Big Mac patties, but rather because Americans are no longer buying all the big government Utopian BS.  Like 2008, our nation is at a fork in the road.  Utopia at the left and the real world to the right.  Americans are tired of the left’s empty promises and class warfare laden hyperbole, and just want to go to work and pay their mortgages…like in the old days. They are tired of not being able to do so, while at the same time being asked to pay the freight of others. Make no mistake about it dear friends (and others) the fork is approaching fast and, to the chagrin of the current administration, the nation’s blinker is flashing right.

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Four Doctors Support Health Care Bill

BREAKING NEWS  – Head Muscle Press (March 4, 2002) In a tightly choreographed media event yesterday, President Barack Obama announced to an eager crowd of supporters that his administration had located four doctors that agreed with his new health care bill.  Speaking with renewed determination, President Obama impugned the hastily assembled crowd to get the bill passed now.  “This is really an exciting moment for us,” one supporter confided.  “We have really been hoping that the medical community would step up to support this bill, and it looks like it has finally happened…I mean…well…at least four of them have.  We have also heard rumors that there is a pharmacist in Rapid City who likes the bill too, but no one has confirmed it yet.” In an attempt to dig a bit deeper,  HM Press caught up with one of Obama’s staffers after the media event. On condition of anonymity,  she agreed to speak with us.  Transcript follows:

HM: This seems to be a big event for the President.

Staffer: Absolutely! He is thrilled.

HM: So, these four doctors actually agree with Obama’s new plan?

Staffer: Yes, they think that this bill is the only way to save our health care system.

HM: But there are only four of them…

Staffer: Only four?  I would say that this is a pretty impressive showing.

HM: but..

Staffer: (breaking in) Let me finish.  We may only have four now, but we think that there are a lot more out there.  Maybe double that number!

HM: So you are saying that there may actually be eight doctors out there that agree with the new bill?

Staffer: Well we cannot say for sure, but some of our analysts think it is possible.  Look, the fact is, there is a silent super minority of doctors out there who are clearly leaning our way –  and we want to find them.

HM: What exactly is a silent super minority?

Staffer: Well we are not sure about that either, but we think it is an important demographic.

HM: How so?

Staffer: Think about it. We are changing one sixth of the US economy to support about seven percent of the population.  Given those numbers, finding four doctors that support this bill is huge!

HM: But polls still show that the vast majority of doctors are against the bill.

Staffer: Not anymore.  In our latest poll, one hundred percent of the doctors surveyed supported it.

HM: Wow, that is impressive who conducted the poll?

Staffer: We did of course!

HM: Oh really, what sample size did you use?

Staffer: That’s beside the point.

HM: No, I think it is important; how big was your sample?

Staffer: Well, quite a few…um…maybe about four I think.

HM: (shocked) So what you are saying is that you only polled the four doctors on stage.

Staffer: Well yes, but it was unanimous….pretty much.

HM: Pretty much?

Staffer: OK, initially one of the doctors was undecided, but Obama was able to change his mind.

HM: How? Did he offer the doctor some type of political position or favor in return for his support?

Staffer: Oh no, Obama will never make that mistake again.

HM: How did he do it then?

Staffer: Cash…I think.

HM: (changing subject)You must forgive my skepticism, but it just seems to me that having four doctors on board is nothing to get excited about.

Staffer: Well, I will admit the stage looked a bit sparse with just four doctors behind the President, but this is only the beginning. Let’s say that our analysis is correct and we can find another four out there somewhere. The ramifications would be huge!

HM: I am sorry, I don’t understand.

Staffer: (rolling eyes) Well a television screen is only so wide.

HM: (confused) Excuse me?

Staffer: (irritated)  OK, work with me here… just imagine if we had eight doctors on stage all bunched up real tight with Obama.   We could almost make the average American believe that our nation’s medical professionals were behind this bill, not just our liberal friends at the DFA and AMA.

HM: So, what you are really saying is that you want to dupe gullible Americans into thinking this bill is a good idea?

Staffer: Well, I would not use the term “dupe” …

HM: What term would you use?

Staffer: I dunno, “creatively manipulate” maybe?  I mean it really is for their own good.  Most Americans are incapable of understanding this bill anyway, and just need to let us pass it.  After all, we know what is good for them; we’re the government!

HM: I see.

Staffer: Well I am very sorry to cut this short, but I need to get back to work.  I only have an hour to get the white coats back to the costume shop…see ya!

At that point, our interview ended as our staffer dashed from the press room.  We are not sure where this all will lead, but one thing is clear.  We have witnessed political theater at its finest and, if successful, we will likely see many such stunts in the future.  Rumors are already circulating that Obama staffers have rented a half dozen polar bear suits for an upcoming climate change conference. <<DEVELOPING>>

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From the Mouth of a Tyrant

There is a storm coming, and it may well be closer than we think.  Soon, the flash of light we see on the horizon may not be lightning, but rather the glow from a nuclear test somewhere in the Iranian wilderness.  As we occupy ourselves with political issues like health care reform, cap-and-trade, jobs bills, and bank taxes our enemy, Iran, is building a nuclear weapon.  Make no mistake about it, all other global crises considered, Iran’s effort  to build a bomb is the defining issue of the next decade.  If they succeed in their quest and deliver a weapon to Hamas, Al Qaeda, or Hezbollah, millions of lives will be held hostage and the world as we know it may truly cease to exist.

This storm is no surprise however.  Iran has been quite outspoken on its desire to become a nuclear power and, thanks to people like A.Q Khan, they will soon have enough operational centrifuges to refine the fuel for about 20 bombs a year.  Even the IAEA has come out and admitted in their latest report that Iran’s  nuclear program appears to have military implications.   What about their intentions with such a weapon though?  Could it truly be defensive in nature? Fortunately, we do not have to rely on third party conjecture here, we have Mahmoud himself!  President Ahmadinejad has, in fact,  told the world what they can expect from Iran as soon as they have “the bomb.”  Just in case you have forgotten, here it is again – straight from the mouth of a tyrant:

“The Zionist regime wants to establish its base upon the ruins of the civilizations of the region…The uniform shout of the Iranian nation is forever ‘Death to Israel.’…” – October 2009 Fars News Agency

“This (the Israeli) regime’s days are numbered and it is on its way to collapse. This regime is dying.” – September 2009  Al Quds rally Tehran

“Don’t be afraid of those Zionists. They are on the verge of death. Their time has passed. Do not surrender your people to them…Unless they are put in their place at the very beginning of their conspiracy, they will jeopardize the security of the whole world, they will jeopardize the security of the whole region… They want the entire world. At their very first step, you must crush their step, crush their leg, so that they do not dare to invade the Islamic lands”  – April 2009 Iranian News Channel interview

“I have heard some say the idea of Greater Israel has expired….I say that the idea of lesser Israel has expired, too.” – September 2009 Press Conference Tehran

“We will witness the dismantling of the corrupt regime (Israel) in the very near future.” – August 2008 Speech in Tehran

“Today the reason for the Zionist regime’s existence is questioned, and this regime is on its way to annihilation.…” May 2008 remarks on Israeli Independence Day

“With God’s help, the countdown button for the destruction of the Zionist regime has been pushed by the hands of the children of Lebanon andPalestine . . . By God’s will, we will witness the destruction of this regime in the near future.” April 2008 quote Fars News Agency

“The Zionists are the true manifestation of Satan . . . “ February 2007 Meeting in Khartoum

“Thanks to people’s wishes and God’s will the trend for the existence of the Zionist regime is downwards and this is what God has promised and what all nations want…Just as the Soviet Union was wiped out and today does not exist, so will the Zionist regime soon be wiped out.” – December 2006 Holocaust Conference

“Israel is destined for destruction and will soon disappear. Israel is a contradiction to nature, we foresee its rapid disappearance and destruction.” – November 2006

“The Zionist regime is counterfeit and illegitimate and cannot survive” – October 2006 Iranian Television

Never does Mahmoud explicitly state that Iran will wipe Israel off  the face of the map, but rather he says that this will be accomplished by the Palestinians.  Is this nothing more than rhetoric designed solely to draw regional favor, or is it something far more insidious?  Perhaps, just perhaps, he is telling Hamas and Hezbollah that they will soon receive the tool that they need to destroy Israel forever.  If such a weapon were deployed and detonated by one of these groups, Iran would have all the plausible denial that they would need to avoid direct confrontation with the west. They would even vow to help find the culprit while giving a behind the scenes “wink” to their friends. It is the perfect scenario for a perfect storm.

Our President however, seems content to walk into the hurricane with little more than a pocket umbrella. While Mahmoud continues to make statements like the ones above, Obama responds with a brand of soft diplomacy that would make Neville Chamberlain wince:

“For nearly three decades relations between our nations have been strained, but at this holiday we are reminded of the common humanity that binds us together…This process will not be advanced by threats. We seek instead engagement that is honest and grounded in mutual respect.” – President Obama’s 2009 video appeal to Iranian People.

These words would fail to send shivers down even the weakest leader’s spine. They are almost conciliatory in their tone and convey a weaknesses of US will that neither Tomahawk Missiles nor F-16s can fix. In the end, they may generate some type of “Munich Agreement” but will do little to stop the advancing storm. It is no wonder that our little friend the tyrant presses on.  He truly believes that he has nothing to fear, and maybe he is right.

So, as time progresses and our leaders continue to prattle on about sanctions and international pressure, please listen closely to the words of our tyrant friend.  He is forecasting the track of a great storm, and its eye is headed directly for Jerusalem and freedom loving people everywhere.  We may still have time to avoid the storm, but decisive military action is the only answer, and it must be taken without delay.  If we do not act now, and act decisively, then no one should feel rage on the dark day that the storm strikes…only shame.

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Obama Nationalizes College Bowl Games

Head Muscle Press (30 January 2010): Insider sources close to President Obama have informed Head Muscle News that he is getting ready to announce plans to take control of all NCAA Division I bowl games.  According to our sources, Obama is doing this in an effort to regain his popular appeal on the heels of a dismal State of the Union Speech.   “President Obama has really had a rough couple of weeks,” our anonymous White House source noted.  “Banks are still making profits, insurance companies are still covering their customers, big energy is still drilling for oil, and the health care industry is still functioning well for 95% of all Americans. He is really feeling down right now.  It has been a while since the President has nationalized anything and he could really use a pick-me-up.” Rumor on the hill is that Obama has never liked the bowl system and believes that it creates an unfair monopoly in certain conferences. Nationalizing all college bowl games is seen by some proponents as the only way to make the system more accessible to underperforming teams that “are not covered” under the current system.  “There are about 342 Division I teams, and only 34 bowl games,” our source explained.  “This means that, every year, almost 274 teams go without bowl coverage.  It is just not fair, and President Obama is vowing to fight for these teams and their fans.”  In an effort to get a more detail on the President’s plan, HM met with our informant for an in-depth interview.  Transcript follows:

HM: Thanks for stopping by today.

Source: My pleasure, I really believe that this proposed legislation is going to be a win for the American People.

HM: So let me get this straight, President Obama plans to nationalize all Division I NCAA bowl games?

Source: Well, I wouldn’t exactly use the term “nationalize.”  We really see it as providing college football teams with a “public bowl option.”

HM: What exactly is a “public bowl?”

Source: Well, it is common knowledge that the greedy insurance companies and big Wall Street banks have had control of the bowl system for years, and …

HM: Sorry for the interruption, but that is really a sensational accusation! What proof do you have?

Source: Well, just look at the 2009 bowl schedule – The Citibank Championship Bowl, The Capital One Bowl, The Allstate Sugar Bowl, The Eagle Bank Bowl…I mean it is really kind of obvious isn’t it?

HM: So how exactly how will the “public bowl option” work?

Source: The plan is to take some of the remaining 500 billion bailout dollars, and set up an additional 137 bowl games that will cover the teams unfairly left out of the current system.  We will offer colleges the opportunity to host these games, and will cover 200% of their overhead costs.

HM: 200%?

Source: Yep. Fannie Mae is running the funding. Our goal is also to get colleges to opt out of big expensive BCS bowls for more politically correct public bowls. We certainly won’t force them to do this though, after all, this isn’t a Bolshevik plot or anything.  They can keep their current “greed bowls” if they want, but there may be steep fines involved.

HM: Wow…that sounds eerily familiar…

Source: It really is some of Obama’s finest work.  It will be the first real competition in the NCAA since the BCS started their monopoly. You know what BCS stands for don’t you?

HM: No, what?

Source: (laughing) Banks Control Sports!  BCS…get it?  The plan is to use our unfair government advantage to compete fairly with these greedy profiteers and run their butts out of the bowl business.  We figure in 5 years, the government will run all the bowl games in the country and then, finally, every team will be covered.  It really is an ingenious plan.

HM: You must forgive my skepticism here, but this sounds like a very expensive proposition.

Source: Oh it really is. It might even prove to be more expensive than health care…if we do it right that is.

HM: Well how will the government get their money back?

Source: Simple, we will just add it to Obama’s proposed bank tax.  I mean, we are already charging the banks for the AIG, GM, and Chrysler bailouts, why not add a few bowl games on the bill as well?  They won’t even notice. It really makes sense when you consider the fact that they are the ones who caused this mess.

HM: So what is the benefit to the taxpayers?

Source: What was the benefit of the health care bill?

HM: Sorry I asked…

Source: There will be some real benefits with the President’s plan though.

HM: For instance?

Source: Well first, instead of using bowl names as gratuitous advertizing opportunities, we will use them to remind Americans of Obama’s vision.  There will be a Death to CEOs Bowl, a Banks Really Suck Bowl, a Unionize America Now Bowl, and a Fifteen Percent of Americans Have No Health Care Bowl.  I know that the last name is kind of long, but the message is really strong don’t you think?

HM: What will you do to the traditional bowl names when they eventually cross over to the public option?

Source: Great question. We are already planning ahead for that, and have mapped a series of new names to these bowls as well.  We will change the GMAC Bowl to the UAW Bowl, the Chick-Fil-A Bowl to the Zero Transfat Bowl, and the Gator Bowl to the Gays in the Navy Bowl.  We have also proposed changing the name of the Fiesta Bowl to the Immigration Reform Bowl.  It really is a great marketing vehicle for Obama’s policies don’t you think?

HM: Are you going to rename the Texas Bowl in Houston?

Source: Oh, that’s a good one. It will be the “Bush’s Fault Bowl.”  Isn’t that fantastic? Obama thought of that one himself.

HM: So is that the only benefit of this plan; new catchy names?

Source: Absolutely not.  We already have much bigger plans in the works.  I could get fired if I told you this, but do you know that high speed train between Orlando and Tampa that Obama approved?

HM: Sure, he mentioned it in his speech last Wednesday.

Source: (leaning in and whispering) Well, do you think it is just a coincidence that it connects the Outback Bowl with the Capital One Bowl?

HM: (perplexed) Well no, I…

Source: Yep. They have already cut a deal to shift over to the public option in 2011.  It is all a part of Obama’s greater plan.  Just think about it. In a couple of years fans will be able to watch the Vegan Bowl in Tampa, and then rocket over to Orlando at 200 miles per hour to see the Capitol Run Bowl the very next day. Soon Obama will have a network of high speed trains connecting all the public bowl games together.  Obama feels strongly that both really fast trains and bowl reform are critical to our nation’s recovery, and this is an ingenious way to get both in one shot. That, my friend, is why he is President and we are not.

HM: Well, I must admit, this will bring sweeping change to the college bowl system.  When will this bill hit the floor for debate?

Source: Oh don’t worry; Obama has given his pledge to televise it all on C-SPAN.

HM: So his ultimate goal is to have every Division I team receive a bowl game bid at the end of the season?

Source: That is really it in a nutshell.  Obama is really tired of all the fat cat CEOs getting all the bowls and the poorer teams getting nothing.  Tell me, when was the last time you saw Wofford College in the Rose Bowl?

HM: (baffled) They were 3 and 8 this past season. Furman beat them for crying out loud!  Who the heck would want to see them in the Rose Bowl?

Source: (look of disgust) Racist.

HM: (shocked) Excuse me?

Source: (indignantly) You may be interested to know that displays of hate will be punishable by 5 years in prison, and a 25-yard penalty in public bowl games…

At the conclusion of the interview, our White House source provided us with an unofficial list of prospective names for some of the new public bowl games:  Under Obama’s plan, the 137 new bowls will include the Close Gitmo Bowl, the Cap-N-Trade Bowl, the Union Freebie Bowl, the Che Guevara Wasn’t So Bad Bowl, and the Jeremiah Got It Wright Bowl.  As revolutionary as this plan would be however, it is not without problems. Orlando Florida, for example, hosts both the Capital One Bowl and the Champs Sports Bowl at same complex. This will make building the high speed train link between the two bowls somewhat problematic.  Democrat proponents of the train insist, however, that a track circling the stadium will allow the train to reach speeds close to 80 miles an hour without derailing.    More on the “Bowl Bill” as it develops.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Head Muscle Press means absolutely no disrespect to Wofford College, its students, or staff.  Wofford is a fine institution of higher learning and is a credit to the American college and university system.  You cannot help it if you stink at football.  See you at the Rose Bowl in 2011.

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